I'll Protect You
by blueangel573
Summary: Ulrich should've known it wasn't a good idea to keep Odd's panic attacks from the others, but he knew that even if he hadn't, he would've been the only one capable of calming Odd down in the first place. (Warnings: M/M)


"Odd, say something! What's going on?" Jeremie shouted through his microphone, heart rate reaching dangerous levels as Odd continued to remain silent. The smaller blonde had seemed fine a minute ago, typical corny jokes as he took down monster after monster, assisting Aelita to the activated tower. It wasn't until another monster had appeared on his screen that Odd had ceased responding to him, the monster also stopped and merely staring at the other. _Maybe XANA is as confused as I am._

"Aelita, what's going on?" Jeremy tried instead, knowing that while the pinkette was dealing with her own set of hornets, she might be able to give him a little idea of what was going on.

"I don't know, Jeremy! Odd looks like he's in a trance." Aelita responded, and Jeremy cursed silently under his breath.

"Can you get any closer?" Jeremy asked. He could see Aelita destroy another hornet before making her way over to Odd, the Tarantula in front of him not moving in the slightest.

"Odd?" He heard Aelita say. "Hey, what's wrong? Jeremy! He's breathing really fast and he's shaking."

"Oh no." Jeremy said, immediately dialing Ulrich's number. Of all the times the younger could have a panic attack, it just had to be now. The phone rang twice before the German boy picked up.

"Jeremy, is everything okay?" Ulrich asked. Jeremy could tell he was out of breath. He could only imagine what kind of fun he and Yumi were having with the electro-monster out there.

"I need you to get to the factory. Leave the monster to William and Yumi." Jeremy said.

"Why me? What's going on?" Ulrich asked, telling Yumi he was off and then making his way to the forest.

"Let's just say Odd's freaking out and I have no idea what to do." Jeremy responded, and Ulrich's heart dropped to his stomach. He'd been witness to countless numbers of Odd's panic attacks, the episodes never really appearing until after Yumi had fallen into the digital sea the first time. Somehow that experience damaged a part of the normally care-free boy's brain, and ever since, he'd had trouble with a level of anxiety not even Ulrich had reached.

"Tell him I'll be there soon." Ulrich said, speeding up. "Jeremy I want you to listen to me very carefully. If you don't do and say exactly what I say, Odd's going to pass out." Jeremy nodded, despite knowing Ulrich couldn't see him through the phone.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Got it." Jeremy said instead.

"Make sure he's breathing. Count his breaths with him." Ulrich said, opening the sewer gate and jumping down.

"Right, how do I do that?" Jeremy responded, clearly beginning to overly analyze the situation.

"Jeremy, you're great at math but you suck at psychology." Ulrich responded, finally coming up to the latter up to the bridge. The latter sighed.

"I never said I was good at the fine arts." Jeremy responded. "But seriously, how do you want me to do that? Aelita just told me he's started to wheeze and tremble." Jeremy sounded on the edge of hysteria, and Ulrich was coming up to that as well. This was the first panic attack Ulrich hadn't been there for, and he was starting to realize why that was a bad thing. The others obviously had no idea what to do.

"Tell him to breath in, and when he does, count to 5. Tell him to hold it for 5 seconds, and then tell him to breath out and count to 5. I'm almost there, I'm at the elevator. Just make sure he doesn't pass out before I get there." Ulrich said, pressing the button to descend the elevator.

"Okay, I'll try." Ulrich hung up his phone and pocketed it, crossing his fingers that Einstein could stay calm enough to help Odd calm down, rather than causing the younger to panic more.

Ulrich ran up to the scanners as the elevator door opened, "Jeremy, I'm ready!" He shouted. The scanner shut in front of him, the virtualization process finally starting.

"Transfer, Ulrich."

"Scanner, Ulrich."

"Virtualization."

Ulrich landed not 3 feet from where Odd was now sat on the ground, breathing loud enough it could probably be heard at the end of the sector. Ulrich ran the last couple of steps, wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders.

"You're okay, you're okay. I'm here." Ulrich said, rubbing his hand up and down Odd's arm. The younger began to choke, tears leaking out of his eyes. The eyes trained on the tarantula in front of him. Ulrich looked at Aelita questioningly, wondering why no one had bothered to take the thing out, or why the Tarantula wasn't attacking them in the first place.

"XANA is using it to cause him stress. It won't attack while it's working." Aelita said, staring at the monster.

"Yeah, he's also using it to waste time. Yumi's in trouble, get to the tower. I'll stay with him." Ulrich said, his hand grasping Odd's gloved paw. Aelita nodded and took off towards the tower, hopping on the overwing Jeremy materialized for her. Ulrich returned his gaze to Odd, the younger shaking more than he'd seen him in months.

"You're alright, it won't hurt you." Ulrich said, turning Odd's face towards his. Odd's eyes kept trailing back toward the monster across from him, small whimpers escaping his mouth each time his eyes connected with it. "Look at me, come on. You're okay. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe with me." Ulrich said, guiding Odd's face back to his again. This time, he didn't remove his hand from Odd's cheek. The blonde stared desperately into Ulrich's eyes, fear leaking through the tears running down his cheeks. "I won't ever let anything hurt you, Odd." Ulrich said, placing a soft kiss on Odd's forehead.

Finally, with a great deal of relief from Ulrich, Odd wrapped his arms around him, his body shaking with the force of his crying. Ulrich shushed him quietly, holding him close and rubbing his hand up and down the blonde's back. "I've got you, I've got you."

"I'm sorry." Odd choked. Ulrich hugged the boy tighter if possible, placing another soft kiss on his forehead.

"Stop that, there's nothing to be sorry for." Ulrich said, and Odd shook his head hysterically, his crying becoming louder with each second that passed. Ulrich knew how this went, it always progressed the same. Odd always felt guilty for his panic attacks, always felt as if he was burdening Ulrich with them, and no matter how many times he told him otherwise, there was nothing he could ever say to get Odd to believe otherwise. He could only imagine how much his friend was torturing himself now, especially after having one on Lyoko.

"I-I couldn't," Odd attempted to take a deep breath, coughing over it instead. Ulrich rubbed his back.

"Shh, it's okay. Everything is okay." Ulrich responded, and Odd continued to shake his head negatively.

"Aelita, I couldn't protect her." Odd was hyperventilating, and if it kept up Ulrich knew he would black out.

"Shh, Aelita's fine. She's perfectly okay. Everything is fine, don't be sorry." Ulrich repeated, looking over towards the activated tower. To his relief, he saw the pinkette faze through the Tower's seemingly solid surface, and he knew he'd have a more comfortable place to talk to Odd in just a moment. "Are you ready for a trip to the past, Odd?" Ulrich asked him, and Odd nodded stiffly. Despite his better judgement, Ulrich lifted the smaller boys head up towards him again, their eyes connecting briefly. "I'm never going to let anything hurt you." And that's when their lips touched, only a chaste kiss, but one that cemented where their relationship now stood. There was no going back from it, and Ulrich wondered briefly if he had made a mistake taking that step. However, when the two pulled back from each other, and the pain that filled Odd's eyes was second to the shock and possibly even _happiness_ that was there now, he knew that he had made the right choice.

"Really?" Odd asked, and Ulrich nodded. "But-" Ulrich cut him off before he could finish.

"It's always been you."

"Return to the past now."

* * *

When Ulrich began to notice where he was again, he realized that he was back in his bed the previous morning. The German boy quickly got up and walked to the other side of the room, sitting himself gently on the bed his friend now occupied.

"Odd?" Ulrich said, placing a gentle hand on Odd's shoulder. The blonde turned to look at him, eyes bloodshot and tears falling silently down his face. "Oh, Odd." Ulrich gathered the smaller into his arms and leaned back against the headboard, Odd burying his face into Ulrich's chest. "What's wrong?" Ulrich asked, leaning his head against the Italian's mussed up hair.

"Why did you kiss me?" Odd asked, eyes downcast. Ulrich was shocked by the question.

"Because, I love you, Odd." Ulrich said, guiding his eyes back up to him.

"No, you love Yumi." Odd said bitterly, biting his lip as he realized the tone he had used. Ulrich smiled softly at him, arms wrapping tightly around the boy.

"I had a _crush_ on Yumi." Ulrich said. "Key words being had, and crush. I never felt the same way about her as I have you. With her, it was more wow she's cool and less, wow she's everything." Ulrich responded, allowing Odd enough courage to look up into his eyes. "You're everything, Odd. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're funny, you're brave, you're so, so beautiful to me." Ulrich said, and Odd's face turned beet red at the statements.

"Yeah, Yumi's cool. She's nice, and I like hanging out with her, but it's not the same as with you." Odd looked down at his legs again, hand playing idly with his boxers. "What about you?" Ulrich asked, and Odd's hand stilled.

"I've always liked you." Odd responded, sighing softly. "You're my best friend. You're the only person that's ever truly understood me, you don't treat me like an idiot." Odd said, eyes trailing back up to look into Ulrich's. Ulrich smiled lightly and placed his hand under Odd's chin, tilting his head up so he could place his lips on Odd's. Odd gratefully accepted the kiss, a soft, content sigh escaping his lips. They kissed slowly for some amount of time, it never becoming more aggressive or more needy, just the slow motion of their lips against one another's lulling them into a sense of bliss. When the two finally broke apart, Odd sent him a smile that could've rivaled the sun's rays. _God, he's beautiful._

"Do you want to talk about what happened on Lyoko?" Ulrich asked, grasping Odd's hand and entwining their fingers together. The smaller sighed and nodded, head going back to it's position underneath Ulrich's chin.

"I don't really know, honestly. I just saw the tarantula and suddenly my chest was tight and I couldn't breath as well. It was so weird, I'm not used to something like that happening." Odd responded, playing with the hem of Ulrich's shirt. Ulrich hummed to show he'd heard him, willing Odd to keep talking. He knew this was the toughest part for his friend, (could they really be called that anymore?) and wanted to make sure Odd knew he was okay to talk about it.

"I was so _scared,_ and I don't even know what of!" Odd said, frustrated with his reaction. Ulrich gripped his hand tighter, not wanting to interrupt but wanting Odd to know he was there. "I felt so useless." Odd said quietly, and with that Ulrich knew Odd had nothing more to say.

"You're not useless, and it's okay to be scared." Ulrich said. "It's scary, Odd. We risk our lives practically every day against something that is mind numbingly evil. Something that causes everyone so much pain. It's okay to be scared. Don't downplay what we've all gone through, it's okay." Ulrich finished, and more tears began to leak from Odd's eyes.

"I was scared of it hurting." Odd said, and Ulrich sighed as he wrapped his arms around Odd again. He knew the feeling of being hit by those lasers quite well, and the return trip was something he always dreaded on his trips to Lyoko.

"I understand that." Ulrich responded. "It's not wrong of you to be afraid of that, Odd. Who wants to feel sick, or be hurt? It's understandable that you panicked. I'm waiting for the day I do it, honestly." Odd nodded his head, wrapping his own arms around Ulrich's muscular frame. "You're so strong. You're so brave, Odd." Ulrich said. He really hoped that one day the smaller would believe it, because there's nothing in the world Odd could do that would change his mind on that. Odd was always in such high spirits despite everything they've gone through. Even when Ulrich would give up and leave the group, trying to have a normal life again, there was Odd still going as strong as ever. He admired the Italian for his perseverance, and it was rightfully so he had a moment or fifty of weakness. He needed it far more than anyone else in their group.

"I love you, Ulrich." Odd said quietly, his breathing finally evened out to a normal tempo. Ulrich smiled and kissed Odd's head once again.

"I love you, too." Odd sighed, his arms tightening a little more around Ulrich's waist. "How does breakfast sound, huh?" Ulrich asked, hoping the thought of food might pick the younger up a little.

"Oh my, I almost forgot about breakfast!" Odd shot up out of bed, running and grabbing his clothes as quickly as possible. "Hurry up, it's almost over we've got to get their quickly." Ulrich laughed loudly, changing into his clothes for the day and being dragged out the door by Odd. _What did I do to deserve him?_ Ulrich questioned himself. He really didn't feel like he had done anything, but he stored the thought to the back of his mind to be dealt with another day.

After all, nothing held Odd back from breakfast.


End file.
